so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize