i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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