Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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