I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
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he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Pooping to opera.
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