I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize