I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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