eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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