I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize