He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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