Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize