ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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