Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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