Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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