I just cut my nipple shaving
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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