Just fell off a train. Bad.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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