My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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