Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize