I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize