I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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