Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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