We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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