He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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