Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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