I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
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Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
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Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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