Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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