I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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