How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize