i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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