She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize