I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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