Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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