On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It's never too late to be topless.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize