You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He better not be in your backpack
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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