Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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