he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
im about as happy as oj after his trial
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize