I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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