how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
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I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
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The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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