apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize