Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Nicole vs. Life
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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