If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
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I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
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I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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