I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize