Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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