I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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