you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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