I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize