walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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