Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize