Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
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