turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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