nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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